[aT This mOmmEnT, yoU mEAn EVerYtHing to mE]

hehe soooo I haven't blogged in a long while, and I am sorry
BUT it's because i have been RATHER caught up in things with Erica
I have spent this WHOLE break with her other than the two days she was in the valley
(which were horrible might I add... every lonely second EXcEPT when I hung out with Jay-Son and Justin)
hehe aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand
*this is the shocking part*
aaaas of tonight...
...after TECHNICALLY being together for like 8 months
me and Erica are officially boyfriend and girlfriend :]
I feel... AMAzING! actually... I can't even begin to explain how happy I am with her
I know I said I am scared of having it end, but as of now, I am not worried about that anymore
at alll
I am trusting her that it won't :]
I.Love.Her. <3>

hehe youuu know, one thing that I find kind of "nEEt"?
IIII am not "dating" Erica, but I just... I am HER'S
I have no problem with that either, like at all
and it's funny that I am soo commited to her, but we aren't TOGETHER...
I am soo happy with that... the fact that I am not with her with her, but I am still only her's...
just a small snippet from my noggin... I'mma go see her soon so

peace.

[i JuST wAnt yOuR eXTra TiME aNd youR..... KiSS]

goshdamn... WHY IS THAT GIRL SOO FUCKING AMAZING?
and I mean, it's not like I am complaining or that I mind
I don't
....
not. one. bit.
she makes me all giggly and cute on the inside
and I LOVE it
she just has this way of being soo perfectly amazing for me, like... I never expected I could be this captivated by an individual... she just... wins me over :]
and it's like... hard to control myself around her, I just... don't want to
you know? I want her to know that I have no problem with being all hers
:]

[My BoDy'S jUmpiN and i go THROUGH tHE mOTiONs and i'm LEAviNG oN ThiS JoURnEY maYbE sOmEDAY I'lL cOME RuNNiN HoME to YoU]

ha... soooooo I think sometimes (believe it or not) but no... seriously
I think sometimes, about the situations I get myself into and I almost completely concluded the other day that I am not going to have sex... like.... ha EVER it seems, and.... I am seriously trying REALLY hard to be ok with that.

ya know, because I love physical attention, but I mean.... and I am not saying that I am ungrateful for what we do because I love kissing her and touching her, but I mean... I am addicted to physical attention, so I ALWAYS want more, I'm not saying that I never want to just cuddle or just talk, but in general, do you get what I am saying? shit why am I asking a computer if it gets what I am saying... I'm loosing it... I'm just saying... I mean, I Love Erica enough to where I am fine with any decision she makes and if that decision is not to have sex, then... I guess I have to just try to live with that, because after all, it really isn't that important.....
.
...
...
...
..
.
it's just hard for me... ha I don't know why I am venting to you blogspot... mayhaps I am ust in that sort of mood?
I don't know, I just need to TRY... fuck....