ugh... tonight tonight
boring... I am a little upset... trying to fix that though
and I have to go to sleep before 1
I have work tomorrow
my manager never called with my schedule, but I am going in at 11 as usual anyway
I am done doing nothing all say... I don't do it much, but I hate it, I am going to carry my writing and drawing books around with me so if I stop doing something, I can start doing something else
uff
I am feeling
weird....
sorta
meh anyway
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
[RidING tHe BuLLeT trAiN]
you know what I FUCKING HATE??... soggy taquitos... you know, when you cook 'em in the microwave and they get all limp? It PISSES ME OFF
bad
so anyway... how are we doing?
by we I mean me, asking myself, not you (sorry I don't want to sound conceited)
but oh?
things are pretty ok, I guess...
I mean OTHER things are GREAT
like my breathing, PHEW has that ever been better
.
I do this thing called digging myself a hole sometimes... then I just lay there until I become bored, ya know?
I end up troubling myself with girls sometimes, it's not purposefully but it happens.
I like girls when I don't want to like girls in that way as to avoid complication in myself or them... by which I mean, I don't want to "date" anyone right now... but I do like getting close to someones and kissing someones, and I've found that sometimes I do that with someones I'd like to date... but some other time, in another light.
then... sometimes I feel like I do want to date people, that I'd love to get physically and emotionally close to someone and mean something to them, but know I would regret it in the morning... in a week.... when it's over
right now... I am a little bit stuck in the middle of all of those, It's strange... but I'll figure out what I want to do
.
..
...
..._.
..._..
..._...
..._..
.....
...
..
.
on a side (and completely unrelated note),
I haven't hung out with Justin or Levi in over a week... it's new to me, you know? I haven't gone this long without them, I'll live though, I mean I've got to get used to it, they are leaving for much longer than a week in about a week or two...
WHICH REMINDS ME... I have to go back to school in 4 weeks and 1 days... it's sort of depressing
well... anyway
smile however you want to :]
so anyway... how are we doing?
by we I mean me, asking myself, not you (sorry I don't want to sound conceited)
but oh?
things are pretty ok, I guess...
I mean OTHER things are GREAT
like my breathing, PHEW has that ever been better
.
I do this thing called digging myself a hole sometimes... then I just lay there until I become bored, ya know?
I end up troubling myself with girls sometimes, it's not purposefully but it happens.
I like girls when I don't want to like girls in that way as to avoid complication in myself or them... by which I mean, I don't want to "date" anyone right now... but I do like getting close to someones and kissing someones, and I've found that sometimes I do that with someones I'd like to date... but some other time, in another light.
then... sometimes I feel like I do want to date people, that I'd love to get physically and emotionally close to someone and mean something to them, but know I would regret it in the morning... in a week.... when it's over
right now... I am a little bit stuck in the middle of all of those, It's strange... but I'll figure out what I want to do
.
..
...
..._.
..._..
..._...
..._..
.....
...
..
.
on a side (and completely unrelated note),
I haven't hung out with Justin or Levi in over a week... it's new to me, you know? I haven't gone this long without them, I'll live though, I mean I've got to get used to it, they are leaving for much longer than a week in about a week or two...
WHICH REMINDS ME... I have to go back to school in 4 weeks and 1 days... it's sort of depressing
well... anyway
smile however you want to :]
Saturday, July 4, 2009
[fOr BLooD aNd FoR CHARity]
(July 4th)
GIRL PROBLEMS: are mostly nonexistant now.. I just.... ended it all I guess.... Sabrina doesn't talk to me anymore, Sydni understands that we are over, Carrissa doesn't much talk to me anymore, and Erica I think there is no problem.... maybe? I'll find out after the fireworks when I come back to my house/a computer so that I can format this goddamn thing....
(July 8th)
I've realized how much it sucks to do basically nothing for days, it feels... GAH... I don't like it... I think I am going to just draw all over myself and everything in my room... and write and scream and sing and sleep... and.... I don't even know
you know, I've realized it sure does seem like you're ditching someone when you make no attempts to contact them for days on end after leaving them suddenly without warning... neat, huh?
I've hung out with my brother a few of these days though... he tells me that we are similar... that we are similar... SIMILAR... I guess you could say that, if by similar you meant different passed explanation then yeah, we spent around 8 years under the same roof then he left then I left then he came back and I don't plan on that, I don't like being home, wherever home is for now. If HOME is where my parents are, my parents that I can't go more than a few simple hours without almost being brought to tears by their desperate attempts to argue over something small and senseless, haha yeah, home.
I have just been sitting here... waking up even later day by day doing nothing except small exercises and videogames... how do people live like this? not to judge but damn... giving you the benefit of the doubt you are morally stronger than me I guess, I can't do it.... I NEED to do things... and I am going to..... tomorrow... for now I think I will finish my run on Need For Speed: Most Wanted, draw a picture... eat some taqitos and look for a way out of this god forsaken house
GIRL PROBLEMS: are mostly nonexistant now.. I just.... ended it all I guess.... Sabrina doesn't talk to me anymore, Sydni understands that we are over, Carrissa doesn't much talk to me anymore, and Erica I think there is no problem.... maybe? I'll find out after the fireworks when I come back to my house/a computer so that I can format this goddamn thing....
(July 8th)
I've realized how much it sucks to do basically nothing for days, it feels... GAH... I don't like it... I think I am going to just draw all over myself and everything in my room... and write and scream and sing and sleep... and.... I don't even know
you know, I've realized it sure does seem like you're ditching someone when you make no attempts to contact them for days on end after leaving them suddenly without warning... neat, huh?
I've hung out with my brother a few of these days though... he tells me that we are similar... that we are similar... SIMILAR... I guess you could say that, if by similar you meant different passed explanation then yeah, we spent around 8 years under the same roof then he left then I left then he came back and I don't plan on that, I don't like being home, wherever home is for now. If HOME is where my parents are, my parents that I can't go more than a few simple hours without almost being brought to tears by their desperate attempts to argue over something small and senseless, haha yeah, home.
I have just been sitting here... waking up even later day by day doing nothing except small exercises and videogames... how do people live like this? not to judge but damn... giving you the benefit of the doubt you are morally stronger than me I guess, I can't do it.... I NEED to do things... and I am going to..... tomorrow... for now I think I will finish my run on Need For Speed: Most Wanted, draw a picture... eat some taqitos and look for a way out of this god forsaken house
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